when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm like, not good at living.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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