I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
