I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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