You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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