4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
