i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hippo gnu deer
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
