you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
