Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize