mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
