i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
