ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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