Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
