things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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