I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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