What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
