While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
