i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
