me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize