I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
