wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my shit smells like andre
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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