just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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