Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
