i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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