I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
