i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
