dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
