Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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