I heard we made out
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I didn't notice because vodka
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
