kristin has been a bad kristin
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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