Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize