Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
