I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
