careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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