peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
