I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
