Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
