just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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