My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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