I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
