I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
another moral hangover. fuck.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just want nice things and good sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
