So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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