i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
