My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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