Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I will be naked everywhere
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
