The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
