I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
