my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i need some magic done to my vagina
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
