you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize