Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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