Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
