How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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