at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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