5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
