Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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