She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
operation harelip BJ is a go
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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