I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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