Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
