he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
