Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
