You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
