You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this boner is exhausting
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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